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# Be a good human
- URL: https://www.cindyschwartz.com/be-a-good-human/
- Published: 2026-10-26T20:52:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-26T20:51:59.000Z
- Description: Compassion at work is too often conditional on disclosure. This final piece in the series asks leaders to start from the assumption that there is more going on than they can see, and to make space for whatever someone chooses to share, or not share.
- Author: Cindy Schwartz
- Tags: Rewriting Leadership Norms, Women in Leadership

It feels right to end this series somewhere broader than breast cancer.

Over the past three weeks, I have written about talking openly, about what happens after treatment ends, and about resilience. There is one more thing I want to say, and it is for everyone, not only people who have had cancer.

Be a good human.

You do not know what the person sitting across from you is carrying. They may be going through cancer and have chosen not to tell anyone at work. Their partner may be sick. Their mother may be waiting for test results. They may be caring for someone, grieving someone, or trying to hold together a part of their life that nobody around them can see.

Cancer is only one example. People also carry bereavement, family crises, financial stress, relationships ending, children struggling, and fear about something they are not yet ready to name.

We often talk about empathy at work as though it begins once somebody tells us what is wrong. I think we can do better than that. We can start from the assumption that there may be more going on than we can see.

That does not mean abandoning standards or avoiding difficult conversations. It means resisting the instinct to make an immediate judgement about somebody’s character when their behaviour changes. You can address the change and ask about the person in the same conversation: “Something has felt different lately, and I would rather ask than assume. Is there anything that would help?”

The person who suddenly seems distracted may not be disengaged. The person who is quieter than usual may not have lost interest. The person who needs another day off may not lack commitment. The person whose patience is shorter than normal may be using most of what they have to get through the day.

Too often, compassion becomes conditional on disclosure. We ask people to explain themselves before we give them permission to be struggling. There are plenty of reasons someone may not want to. It might be privacy, dignity, or not having the words yet. That is the leadership norm worth rewriting. We do not need to know the whole story before we respond with humanity.

In week one, I wrote that whether to tell people or keep it private is the patient’s choice. I chose to be public. Someone else may choose the opposite. Both choices deserve respect, and the people around them can make space for either.

Good leadership leaves room for that. It asks before assuming. It notices without prying. It offers flexibility without making someone perform their pain to earn it. It treats people as adults who may be carrying things we know nothing about.

Whatever someone chooses to share, or not share, make space for it.

Be a good human.